.svg){kind=small}
In a rush? Here’s a quick rundown:
Anyone who has experience working with children will know that making a real impact requires all hands on deck. It really does take a village to raise a child and those villages need to talk.
Sometimes when difficult topics or situations come up at nursery it can be really uncomfortable or even a little awkward to strike up a conversation with your team and particularly for those staff to have those conversations with parents. However, these are the times we need to talk the most.
That’s why we wanted to try and make it that bit simpler. With the help of our experts Rachel Buckler, Lewis Fogarty and June O’Sullivan, let’s dive into how you and your team can better collaborate with parents when it comes to tackling those tricky, yet so important topics.
As you all know, children often bring their home experiences into the nursery. While we can't control what happens outside our doors, we can make sure our nurseries are safe, supportive spaces where they learn positive values and social skills to develop into grown ups that know how to navigate the world well.
As Early Years educators, you help shape a child's values and views during these formative years. But, you can’t do it alone.
And yet, not only is every child unique, but so is every family, in their values, parenting styles and beliefs. This can make it a little tricky when it comes to collaboration and aligning on the trickiest topics - subjects like Prevent Duty, British Values and other topics such as equality and diversity. While you bring your expertise in early childhood education to the table, parents offer invaluable insights into their child’s behaviour, preferences, and needs. By working together, you form an unbeatable team.
Something important to remember is while collaborating with parents is key it's also crucial to set clear boundaries and enforce a zero-tolerance policy for any form of abuse. Building strong trust with parents will help you strike a good balance between collaboration and maintaining these boundaries.
With that in mind, here are some practical tips to help you work together with parents and create a positive, understanding environment - even when talking about those harder topics.
An ethos is the guiding principle or core belief that shapes how your setting operates. It’s your setting’s "mission statement". Having a clearly defined ethos means parents can clearly understand what to expect and decide whether a setting aligns with their beliefs and how they want their child to be taught and cared for.
“The purpose of having a clear ethos is important as it lays out the values of the setting and therefore the behaviours and attitudes expected of everyone at the setting. For example, If you think risky and adventurous play is important then it will be woven through the ethos of the setting in terms of pedagogy and practice.”
June O'Sullivan, CEO of London Early Years Foundation, Researcher and Author
Initiate Dialogue Early: Start conversations about sensitive topics early, ideally during initial parent meetings or induction sessions. It’s a great way to build trust and set the tone for open communication from the get-go. For example, discuss the importance of safeguarding and Prevent Duty at your setting from day one.
Use Clear Language: Skip the jargon and formal language. Instead, break down these concepts in a way that parents can easily understand. For instance, Prevent Duty is described as “helping keep children safe from harmful ideas and influences.
“Great staff build strong relationships with parents, so they know how to read them. Be clear in what you are going to say and use the conversation technique of “serve and return” to encourage any questions and ensure they understand what you are saying and what you are asking from them.”
June O'Sullivan, CEO of London Early Years Foundation, Researcher and Author
Encourage openness: Let parents know that your setting is a place where they can freely express their opinions, beliefs and concerns or ask questions about difficult topics without judgement. This could be through one-on-one meetings, parent forums, or anonymous feedback forms.
Host workshops or meetings: Organise regular workshops or parent meetings focused on discussing how these topics are integrated into your setting’s curriculum.
Cultural sensitivity: Acknowledge and respect the cultural, religious, or personal values that parents bring. Show understanding by asking questions like, “How does your family view this topic?” or asking ways your setting can include their culture in activities.
“Try to find common ground, discuss differences and take time to explore the reasons why parents hold different beliefs or opinions. Explain your own point of view and position as a professional working with children including your own personal views and don’t be afraid to stand your ground. We listen but we don’t compromise.”
Rachel Bucker, Early Years Author and Consultant
Showcase activities: Ease parents' minds by sharing examples of how British Values are part of everyday activities in your classroom. For instance, explain how a game of taking turns teaches children about democracy, or how storytelling can incorporate various cultures and traditions and foster mutual respect.
Build trust through consistency: Keep parents in the loop with regular communication. Set the tone with how discussions happen at your setting by keeping an open line of communication and building strong relationships with parents.
“Having difficult and/or sensitive conversations are much easier when they are not the first or only conversations you have with someone and the same is most certainly true with parents. If you have put the time into forming a purposeful relationship with them (or anyone) when it comes to dealing with topics like this you will have a better chance of them hearing what you are trying to say and keep the barriers down.”
Lewis Fogarty, Nursery Director and Lecturer at Brunel University
Proactive approach: If you sense that a parent is uncomfortable with certain topics, reach out to them early to discuss their concerns. This can prevent misunderstandings from escalating.Provide reassurance: Offer reassurance by explaining how your setting approaches these topics in a way that is age-appropriate and sensitive to all children’s needs.
Mediation: Disagreements happen naturally however having a plan when they arise will help you feel confident in finding a resolution. Consider bringing in a neutral third party, such as a senior leader or an external mediator, to help resolve conflict.
“We have a simple 4POP - four pillars of pedagogy. Reassuring relationships, clear communication, continuous curiosity and enabling environments. It is really helpful to have this to fall back on, refer to and build on when handling certain situations with parents."
Lewis Fogarty, Nursery Director and Lecturer at Brunel University
All right, so that’s a good start. But what happens when all hands on deck also means many different opinions and perspectives?
That's when things get a little tricky. Children need consistency. Consistency in communication, in values and in knowing what’s right and wrong. It can be challenging when parents disagree with what you're teaching, especially when those teachings are rooted in British Values and the EYFS guidelines.
Remember, your responsibility as an educator is to teach based on these fundamental practices. It's important to emphasise that the principles guiding your teaching are not just opinions—they are established standards designed to benefit all children.
When conflicts arise, remind parents that these principles are there to support their child’s development in a well-rounded and inclusive manner.
“Our vision and expectations in fostering inclusive and respectful values should shine through our practice and this should be the bedrock for any conversation with parents who may not hold the same values. Policies should be clear and communicate how diversity is promoted within a setting with clarity on expectations to uphold all practices that support children’s well-being and safety. We should not be afraid to challenge anything or anyone when we recognise harmful attitudes or behaviours. Sometimes direct conversations with parents will help explore unwelcome expressions or beliefs that manifest themselves. recall as a manager having to do this once when a 3-year-old was using racist language to address one of our members of staff. It felt uncomfortable but necessary, not only because of the duty of care we had for the member of staff to address it but also the responsibility and opportunity to influence and change the harmful behaviours of the child.”
Rachel Bucker, Early Years Author and Consultant
The language we use in Early Years settings shapes how children see themselves and others. Inclusive language is vital for fostering a sense of belonging and valuing every child. It’s not just about communicating instructions; it’s about creating a positive, hopeful environment where all children feel seen and respected.
We also have to consider how we use language when communicating with parents about difficult topics as the language you choose can be the difference between a parent feeling like you’re being accusatory or helpful.
“The great thing is that speaking through the process of correcting yourself is a great teachable moment with children. The same would apply to diversity in culture/religion etc. If we say something that is wrong or lacks thought we can confront our naivety and ignorance head on, and demonstrate ourselves as learners too, who make mistakes. Children need to see this and recognise that no one is perfect.”
Lewis Fogarty, Nursery Director and Lecturer at Brunel University
Parents love staying updated on their children’s nursery activities and finding ways to support them at home. With Famly, nurseries can share quick updates through photos and videos, helping parents feel more involved.
It’s a great idea to give parents tips on supporting their child’s social development and teach them about diversity and inclusion. Many parents might be new to these concepts, so offering friendly, judgment-free support goes a long way.
Here are some tips you can offer parents to promote British Values at home.
Guidance from the Danish Health Ministry, translated in full to English.
.jpg)
The full recommendations from a working group of over 70 nursery chains in the UK.
Please note: here at Famly we love sharing creative activities for you to try with the children at your setting, but you know them best. Take the time to consider adaptions you might need to make so these activities are accessible and developmentally appropriate for the children you work with. Just as you ordinarily would, conduct risk assessments for your children and your setting before undertaking new activities, and ensure you and your staff are following your own health and safety guidelines.
Get top tips from a setting just like yours. Hear from Alphabet House on why and how they use Famly - and why they’ve never looked back.
Read their story
