Involving families is key in early learning. But how do we make it easier?

I often hear early educators say: “I love working with children, it’s the adults I’m not so sure about.” 

But when we work with young children, we work with their parents too. After all, parents are a childcare center’s first client. They choose the program and pay the fees. Parents are educators’ partners. But positive relationships between parents and educators aren't always a guarantee. There can be tension, because if parents don’t take educators’ expertise and knowledge seriously, they see early childhood education as little more than "babysitting." 

But educators can be judgmental of parents’ child-rearing practices too: “If Justin’s or Emma’s parents were more consistent with bedtime routines, the children would be better behaved…”

To be sure, early childhood educators do collaborate with parents. Families are satisfied and grateful for the essential services they receive. I want to affirm your efforts. But if you are wondering what else you could do to involve families, I want to share some communication strategies that help you engage parents, and unite everyone around children's learning and development.

Parental involvement in early childhood education is as important as child psychology, pedagogy, and curriculum. And while we agree that parents and educators have the best interests of the children at heart, they do come at it from different perspectives. 

So what do effective family engagement efforts look like? What are meaningful ways that we, as educators, can involve parents in our work, and work toward more mutual respect?

Let’s start by considering both the parent and the educator's perspective.

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Considering a parent’s perspective toward early childhood

Parents entrust their most precious little person to early educators with a mixture of eagerness and apprehension. They want their child to have positive, growthful experiences in your care.

At the same time, they are worried about their child’s safety, both physical and emotional — and will be apprehensive about entrusting their child into someone else's care. 

Many parents have hopes that their child’s experiences in the classroom will be easier than at home. Without background knowledge in child development, parents may not realize the complexities of toilet training or of teaching social skills. They may even have unrealistic expectations that their child will mainly have fun, without considering the bigger picture of child development and growth.

And if their child has some difficulty, they may react with intense emotion. Their point of view is individual, as they naturally focus on their own child, rather than your program as a whole. Their child’s happiness, safety, and learning are unique and primary.

As educators, we need to keep this in mind when engaging families. Parents can only ever see the focused picture of their own child — they need our help to understand how their own child's education fits into the bigger picture of an early learning program.

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Exploring an early educator’s outlook on the classroom

Educators also have each child’s safety and happiness in mind, plus that of many other children. As experts in early learning, they know about growth and development. 

They understand that children's education is not always “fun,” and that children may struggle some days, whether it is sharing toys with their little friends, learning the intricacies of potty usage, or finishing a puzzle. 

Educators think of the individuals as well as of the whole group, be it a classroom or an entire center. They also have to deal with organizational logistics and licensing regulations. They follow confidentiality rules. When toddlers are biting and learning to stop, teachers must protect the child’s privacy while providing developmentally appropriate skilled behavior guidance.

The practical and administrative aspects of educators’ responsibilities often go unseen by parents.

In their role as advocates for their child, parents may make requests that do not respect confidentiality, such as asking to remove the mean child who bothers theirs. Or they may demand special curriculum adaptations that go against a program’s own values, such as not letting their boy play dress-up in the dramatic play area.

The logistic and administrative aspect of early care is often invisible to parents, which can also be a source of miscommunication and frustration for educators.

What might seem like a simple parenting moment can quickly become a complex web of best practice considerations and administrative restrictions. As keepers of best practices in early childhood, teachers may be flummoxed by parents’ attitudes and demands. They may respond with authoritarian rules that deny the parents’ perspectives. Or they may enjoy their job of teaching young children, but feel disrespected by their adult clients.

To build up better family engagement strategies, we can’t just look for in-the-moment fixes. This is a long-term process of learning and growing together, and it starts with good communication.

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Daily strategies for engaging families in early childhood education

Educators’ and parents’ perspectives can be bridged with strategic communication, to build mutual understanding and find common ground.

When there are concrete ways and places to share information, the level of mutual understanding rises. This communication is best when it’s multifaceted: in person, individual and group, electronic, written, and verbal. And it must be frequent and consistent, using plain language that avoids educational jargon. 

Here’s how we can practice that in our daily communication:

• Use wisely the communication apps that allow for sending pictures of children in action. It is a nice visual approach but should not be just about cute moments, which gives parents a distorted view of a child’s day. It must be balanced with written and verbal comments about the child’s learning. 
• On the choice of electronic vs. in- person communication, be flexible with families who have limited access to technology (they exist!) and feel free to explore all manners of online options for the many families who are online.
• Keep drop off and pick up times for positive, casual interactions. These times are busy and not conducive to discuss larger concerns. If a parent mentions a concern, listen briefly and offer to make an appointment at a convenient time in person or on the phone. 

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Long-term strategies to connect with parents

Building strong relationships with parents is a big-picture process. Here’s what you can do to structure closer connections and clear communication into your year-round practice:

• Describe your philosophy, curriculum, and policies in your marketing materials and parent handbook with easy to understand language so families can visualize themselves and their child — be it in the rules for drop-off and pickup, in the guidelines regarding illness, or the method for potty-training. 
• As you welcome a new family, take note of what the parents say about their child. Have a simple form, asking for child’s interests, and personality. At the original intake, parents may be too intimidated to know what they want to say. Plan a second meeting two or three weeks after the child has started to check in. Then talk about their goals for their children within the context of your program’s philosophy and practices. 
• Schedule parent-teacher conferences twice a year to meet with parents to talk about their child’s learning and growth. These formal times are special ways for parents to see the personalized curriculum of their child and ask questions. They can then agree upon and  write common developmental goals with the teacher. 
• If you suspect that a child may have a developmental delay or other special need, communicate this information to parents in a confidential and supportive manner. Provide documented accounts for the concern and share next steps for further evaluation or additional resources. 
• Offer a menu of different events to support families. Some programs hold sessions on educational topics such as kindergarten readiness or behavior guidance. Others propose social events by age group, such as the opportunity to meet other toddler families. As families mingle and grow friendships, they feel part of the caring community of your center. ‍

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Family engagement means sharing your knowledge with parents

When the early childhood literature talks about building reciprocal relationships with families, it usually means that educators must make every effort to understand and respect families. That is undeniably important. Yet it often misses the part about educators sharing their own perspectives with families. 

Sharing the code of early learning with parents helps them to be equal partners. They get the inside look at how their child's development fits in the wider world of education. It is in early childhood that parents learn to be involved with their children's educators, and to build a shared responsibility in partnership with these educators.

Parents want reassurance that the program will support them in raising their children well. Educators want their expertise to be valued. Both can happen with simple and consistent communication about what the child is learning, and how the educators are teaching.